Monday, February 23, 2009
On my way to the opening day of Dickens in November I was pulled over for talking on my cell phone. It was right after thanksgiving, and the damn cop was apparently not thankful for me, my tinted windows, or the glow of my iPhone through the tinted windows. In my defense, I was only on the phone for 4.8 seconds verifying which freeway exit to take in SF. It was really one of my shortest cell phone conversations ever. (I shouldn't mention that The Hubby- right before I left for SF- warned me about using my cell while driving. Dammit. )
I acknowledged that I made a mistake, and was worried since I didn't know the area (not entirely untrue), and even brought out the damsel in distress water works when he came back to give me my ticket (Come on, it was 9AM and I hadn't had any coffee yet!). A ticket for the cell phone, a "warning" for the tint job. I could tell I made him really uncomfortable with the quite tears as he explained to me how to get back on the freeway.*
I didn't get my courtesy notice. Still didn't, then still didn't, almost three months later and I still didn't. Then after worrying that maybe I'd really be in trouble if I didn't pony up my cash for a ticket that NOBODY ELSE has received since the hands-free law was passed, I called. And looked online.
No ticket.
The guy didn't put my ticket in the system.
OMG, no ticket!!
I think I may send him a Thank You note for having a heart.
*I've been pulled over before, but have yet to receive a ticket beyond a "fix-it" ticket, and I have never shed a tear before. I'm kind of excited that it worked, but don't think I'll pull that trick again...Honestly...
Some Daily Rumi
~ Jalal-Ad-Din Rumi
Thursday, February 19, 2009
- I am in an office by myself
- My office is in a house usually by myself (In the middle of a ranch in the middle of nowhere for goodness sake)
- 9.97 times out of 10 I do not see anybody who doesn't work for the same company
- It will encourage me to run around the vineyard on my break
- I will fill stupid for wearing gym clothes to work if I do not run on my break
- They are not sweats, so I don't give the illusion of giving up on life
- It easier to get ready in the morning, so I am able to sleep in 10.75 minutes longer.
I know, I know, the uni-boob isn't the sexiest, but I try to counter it by looking cute in the face and wearing casual gym clothes and not the Go-to-the-gym-to-be-social-and-cute-and-not-really-work-out clothes, which draws attention away from the form of your body.
I'd like to keep this trend up, however I'm going to have to decide if I'll attempt running when it rains. I'm not sure how productive I'm going to be afterwords if I'm covered in mud.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
Seriously?
EIGHT F-ING BABIES!!!!
Let me first say that nature is against women having eight children during gestation, otherwise we'd answer to the name Pussy and we'd have more than two tits. Oh- and we'd be able to do it naturally.
Observe, the litter:

I wont even go into the fact that she already has six other children, is single and unemployed.
(For the record, I give mad props to single mothers- my own mom included- but purposefully having that many children when you already have six? [Did I just use "mad props" in a sentence?])
Bouts of depression and all she wants is children. She doesn't need in vitro fertilization, she needs a fucking therapist and some Zoloft.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Who said Hockey is White Trash??

Bless crazy Rich and his heavy hand. It makes me not as mad to pay $16 for a drink. I don't remember logistics of the game (I had one more single G&T), except that it was amazingly fun and exciting. I even jumped out of my seat a few times.
I'll never watch hockey on TV, but I'll be dammed if I ever turn down a ticket to actually go to the game.

